EASTER CARNAGE!!!

It happened in my own front yard. Sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 pm on Easter Sunday a crime was committed against nature (do you think I'm exaggerating? just wait). That morning we had a little egg hunt with Len, Monique & Darby. Soon after we headed to the zoo along with half of Los Angeles (if you're wondering, I don't recommend the zoo on weekends, let alone weekends when they sponsor activities). When we got home Isaac headed to the front yard -- where everything was perfectly safe and normal -- looking for his basket. It was inside, he retrieved it and he & Emily went on with their adventures in sugarland.

Half an hour later I was up in the kids room (which overlooks the front yard) cleaning or looking for a lost toy, or maybe I was just running away, whatever, but I looked out the window and saw lots of feathers. Then I noticed a couple of pigeon body parts. Looked like a cat had his way with one of the neighborhood birds. So I headed downstairs to let Martin know and prevent the young 'uns from playing out front. He didn't jump up to inspect the situation so I decided to. Much to my surprise there was not one bird in two pieces, but two birds in three pieces! (turn away if you're queasy -- I'm gonna go ahead and tell you the gorry details). Heads removed (only one head was found) feathers plucked from the breasts but little meat was eaten. An entire nest was knocked down as well. This was all beneath the giant palm tree which houses various species, typically harmoniously, such as squirrels, sparrows and the aforementioned pigeons. I went back inside to tell Martin more details. He still didn't get up to inspect the crime scene (NBA playoffs), so I decided that I could get over my willies and get the shovel to remove the carcasses. Got the shovel and a bag and while heading through the house I convinced my man to come see the mess. He inspected the carnage and held the bag as I dumped the dead birds. I took them to the trash. Man, trash day is Friday. There's gonna be a whole lotta smell going on by then.

We speculated but couldn't come up with any reason for the murders except perhaps El Chupacabra. Then I realized that he's more of a livestock kinda phantom. So I called the SPCA today and talked to their wildlife officer. She said that in all likelyhood, get this, it was a squirrel! A squirrel was able to chew the heads off of, not one, but two FLYING ANIMALS 25 feet up in a tree. Huh? See, I told you it was a crime against nature.