don't expect much for good cheer and whatnot from me. this holiday that brings out the greediest in everyone is getting harder every year for me.

i have to admit that it's not just the retailers fighting for my dollars and the news telling us which gifts to steal from other folks' carts. it's being away from the friends who had become my family every holiday for the last seven years.

don't get me wrong. . .being around our "actual" families is priceless. the children are thriving in the love of their grandparents and cousins. the occasional snow is just a bonus. but unless you've created a new life far away from all family, you don't understand what it is to create a new family of your friends.

i don't know that anyone who moved far from home could have possibly been as fortunate as we were in our seven year adventure in southern california. the people who became integral parts of our lives are more precious to us that you could ever imagine. we became part of their families. these folks began inviting us into their homes just months after meeting them. not just their homes but the homes of their families. we know our friends' parents and brothers and nieces and cousins and we were welcomed by everyone. take your notions of snobby californians and place them elsewhere. i made friends whom i will love and care for and visit and treasure for the rest of my life.

so yes, i'm a bit melancholy this holiday. i feel out of place. no gingerbread houses are being built and decorated. no christmas eve with the andersens or pusateris. no herds of children playing upstairs huddled in the closet as their secret clubhouse.

i'll make some cookies with the kids soon. i've got the cards addressed and stamped (this hasn't happened in three years) and i'll be up late on wednesday night wrapping gifts. it will all fall together and it will be lovely, but for right now, i miss los angeles.

back from the hunt. we all had a good time. i'll let martin tell you his side of the story.

the kids and i spent most of our time with my sis melissa and her 9 y.o., erin. tey have a pretty good piece of acreage so the kids had lots of space for exploring. once after em & erin were out they returned with a deer and a rabbit skull. homeschooling wasn't much work as we were in a great big science lab for the week. the kids made a fort of old branches. it was quite impressive (erin has made several others to date) including a tumbleweed wall. about 380 miles into our trip we started seeing these tumbleweeds. what a hoot. it's been a long time since i've lived in western kansas.

i guess we're planning on getting a christmas tree today. what makes this unusual is that we'll have to forge through the snow to get there. yup. the season's first snow was last night. i'd say 2 inches of accumulation but the wind was downright vicious so i'm sure we'll see some serious banks today. can't wait for the kids to get up and play in it.

i should sneak in a shower today. . . as a courtesy for everyone in my path.

them thar holidays can get the best of yeh, eh?

i'm done. stick a fork in me. christmas will be here way too soon. can't wait for it all to be over. seriously. i'm in no hurry to put an evergreen in my living room. stockings, chimney, bah. . .

in other news, we're heading to western kansas tomorrow night for martin's first deer hunting season. my dad will likely do most of the hunting and i'm pretty sure martin & lance (brother in law) will be students and the muscle of the operation. i hope they have a good time. the kids and i will hang with big sis and her daughter. we're crossing our fingers for good weather. not for the hunting . . . for the kids to play outside.

ku hoops are looking sweet this year. catch a game or two if you can.