welcome to my insomnia. it's been three or four nights in a row now that i've watched the hours of 3, 4 & 5:00 pass by. it's not gonna kill me or anything, but i'd certainly benefit from those hours being spent sleeping rather than a) tossing quietly in bed hoping baby doesn't wake; b) watching lame-o television; or c) surfing the same-ol' internet that doesn't really intrigue me anymore. i sometimes fantasize about a full night's sleep -- much like my lottery fantasy (you can't win if you don't play!), it's so out of touch with reality that it's inconceivable to the sleep-deprived mind.
baby went to sleep wacky early last night so when i went to bed it was with the mindset that she'd be ready to go at an ungodly hour. well, as always with mothers and their insomnia, it did not coincide with audrey's waking. my guess is that just after i fall back to sleep at about 4:45 (i'm speaking my world into existence here) she'll wake and i'll be a groggy mess. i'm always amazed at how tired i am just after falling asleep. it's a tired like the lead-vest at the dentist. it's smothering and helpless. i mean, what if you were getting your x-rays and you were stuck under the vest and some crazy dental hygenist came in and shaved your eyebrows off? would you be able to stop her? yeah, it's that kind of tired.