welcome to my insomnia. it's been three or four nights in a row now that i've watched the hours of 3, 4 & 5:00 pass by. it's not gonna kill me or anything, but i'd certainly benefit from those hours being spent sleeping rather than a) tossing quietly in bed hoping baby doesn't wake; b) watching lame-o television; or c) surfing the same-ol' internet that doesn't really intrigue me anymore. i sometimes fantasize about a full night's sleep -- much like my lottery fantasy (you can't win if you don't play!), it's so out of touch with reality that it's inconceivable to the sleep-deprived mind.
baby went to sleep wacky early last night so when i went to bed it was with the mindset that she'd be ready to go at an ungodly hour. well, as always with mothers and their insomnia, it did not coincide with audrey's waking. my guess is that just after i fall back to sleep at about 4:45 (i'm speaking my world into existence here) she'll wake and i'll be a groggy mess. i'm always amazed at how tired i am just after falling asleep. it's a tired like the lead-vest at the dentist. it's smothering and helpless. i mean, what if you were getting your x-rays and you were stuck under the vest and some crazy dental hygenist came in and shaved your eyebrows off? would you be able to stop her? yeah, it's that kind of tired.

in the last week i've received several emails from whom i was unsure of the sender and for which the subject was obscure, i.e. "we were delighted" and "hi." for some unknown reason i decided to open these. martin recently did something to my email account that has drastically reduced spam so i thought maybe, just maybe, these could be from legitmate folks. most, of course, were junk. however two were from acquaintances -- one new and one from my old l.a. life. these were pleasant surprises to say the least, but left me wondering, "how many legitimate emails do i delete?" unfortunately i'll likely open spam upon spam for the next month, awaiting a long lost email from my college buddy Claudia or my kindergarten true love Todd. ne'er will they arrive. it will be a month-long sifting of spam which will turn me back into a "deleter" after which both Claudia and Todd will attempt to reach me with a kind "remember me?" subject line which i'll assume is a direct link to an adult website or rush limbaugh's drug supplier. sorry in advance for ignoring your reunion attempts. i can't open all the mail i get, you know.

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

even if you're pretending it is spring, snow can get into your clogs.
that'll take the spring out of your step.

yesterday we rose above the freezing mark for the first time in three weeks. soon we will have an ugly melty mess but for today it's prime snow-playing weather for the kids. as for me, well, i'm pretending it's spring. no bulky sweater for this babe. lightweight cotton blouse and red jeans. NO BOOTS! i'm even considering combing my hair and donning some lipstick. see what a little sunshine will do for a girl?

we're finally "in" a local homeschooling co-op. our first time was today, along with a "campfire" meeting this afternoon. the kids had a lot of fun and met some new friends. hopefully i'll come out with some more buddies as well.
gotta run. i need to eat some more chocolate chips.

i'll give you a dollar if you put the kids to bed.

blogger had forgotten who i was. had you?
i'm okay. the holidays were fine. then martin left for l.a. for three-and-a-half-weeks. now he's back. the kids are fine. i made AWESOME brownies last night. michele sent me home a case and a half of two-buck-chuck. life is good. see, i'm better, right?
sorry i've emailed none of you. it's nothing personal. just busy piling on top of busy piling on top of self-pity. these things happen, you know.
so maybe i'll get my blogging mojo back. maybe i won't. i guess you'll just have to wait to find out.