I'm not here anymore. I'm here.

judi would be proud. martin & i caucused this evening. now, kansas usually holds its primary long after the candidates have been pretty solidly established. i was shocked just a week ago to hear that our democratic caucus would be held on super tuesday. martin was fortunate enough to see mr. obama speak last week and we both became excited about the idea of caucusing and actually counting for the first time since leaving california. so this evening, we knew we needed to be at a nearby church by 7:00 pm to be herded over to one side of a room or another and be counted.

alas, it was not so simple. . .

anticipating a turnout of about 200 johnson county democrats, a handful of volunteers and some folks from the kansas democratic party opened the doors at 6:00 pm. less than an hour later, several thousand determined liberals lined 75th street in freezing rain waiting excitedly to be counted. because of the sheer numbers, a traditional caucus was not able to be held. after many folks spent close to two hours outside, then another in a crowded room, the eventual conclusion was to have us sign a paper and be counted that way. the consensus in the happy, chilly crowd was that none of us knew there were so many democrats in kansas. it felt very good. i feel very hopeful.

life continues at a frantic pace here at casa diggs. i've foolishly taken a holiday position at williams-sonoma, all the while martin's job is at its busiest of the year. wednesdays are the only days that we have any time together. and we're so busy catching up on household and movie stuff that we hardly share a moment.
oh january, how i long for thee. . .
we're seeing our first snowfall of the year today. they're saying to expect about six inches. it's not fun, fluffy snow. it's too cold for that. we'll top out at 14 degrees F today. this is fall, folks. fall in kansas. maybe that's why there haven't been any snowplows out. it's not winter yet.

I took a nap today. Not worth mentioning for most folks, but it's been at least two months since my last nap and I'd forgotten what a nap could be like. This was a wierd nap. I was stuck asleep. I knew I should be waking up but I couldn't get out of the sleep. It was a fairly short nap in reality (maybe 45 minutes) but it sucked the life out of me and I awoke more tired than I was beforehand. Perhaps the screaming children interrupting my potentially blissful rest made my body/mind fight back and shut down completely. I've been up for about three hours, drank some green tea, took my vitamins and ate some homemade organic pineapple upside-down birthday cake and I'm still weary.
. . .until bedtime--then I'll wake up.
(if you're wondering what the kids were kvetching about, it was cinnamon toast)

In ten years of parenting, I've learned a few things. . .
-wiping another human's bottom really isn't that big of a deal
-sleep is a luxury
-you experience physical pain when your child experiences physical pain
-you experience emotional pain when your child experiences emotional pain
-the labor pains you go through are nothing compared to what is to come
-preparing a hot meal for your family is a showing of your love, but don't count on eating until it's lukewarm and everyone else has left the table
-they grow up too quickly
Yes, Emily is ten today. She's been an amazing experiment for Martin & myself. Poor first children. They really do get the worst of it.

someone rifled through the van a couple nights ago. pretty much just made a mess. left my educational audio tapes, thrift store books and grocery bags strewn about. as far as i can tell, all he/she took was a small bag of change--mostly pennies, and a ten-cent pair of sunglasses. today emily found his/her diabetes medic-alert tag. now, i'm not saying that i wish this person to go into shock and not be identified as diabetic by the paramedics. i'm just saying that karma is a fascinating thing.

i'm missing california again. desperately.
we really grew up out there. we made our grown up friends there. we started wonderful traditions there. and were invited into other families' traditions as well.
i'm doing my best to convince myself that making a gingerbread house would be fun. but without the pusateris and the andersens and an obscene amount of confections (michael is the best candy shopper alive) i just can't do it. i might have to anyway. the children might gang up on me.

we are making some marvelous friendships out here though. i have a new mrs diggs in my life -- no relation. before we moved to cali she was my friend, though not a mrs diggs. and we're enjoying getting to know a family with three girls -- ages spaced like our three. and the family who shares ethiopian food with us (yes, the way to our hearts is through our stomachs). and many more. college friends, friends from the renegades. i even ran into a gal who i worked with when i was a newlywed just the other day. and it's good. and i'm generally happy.

but i still want to see the ocean.